TL-DR:

  • Use the 80% rule when comparing yourself to others.
  • Use it to identify the way forward.

Comparison can be valuable.

There’s a lot of self-help literature which tell you that comparison is the thief of joy, and how your only competition should be your past self. These are generally sound principles.

However, I personally find comparison to be useful in navigating my career: as long as I limit myself to comparing with those who are only slightly ahead of me.

This for me, aligns neatly with the 80% rule.

I find it useful to deconstruct the journey of someone who has achieved a bit more than me: What worked well for them? What circumstances led to their faster advancement? What skills did they possess, and what new skills did they acquire? What books influenced them? Who are their role models? What projects did they undertake? Were they at the right place at the right time? How did they get there? Reasoning about the answers for these questions help in identifying growth areas and opportunities that I would otherwise never notice.

However, it is important to not compare oneself to someone significantly further ahead. Chances are, there’s a former colleague or a classmate with a net worth in the hundreds of millions, cruising in a Maserati, retired early to enjoy life on a beach, some other arbitrary definition of success… and I cannot envision a viable path to reach these heights.

In such cases, they were likely dealt a vastly different set of cards or are simply better card players than I am: So it is best to just acknowledge this, shrug, and move on.

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.